The butt of almost every superhero joke, Aquaman’s the Rodney Dangerfield of comics — he never gets any respect. One look at the twitter search results for “Aquaman” certainly proves that (even this little gem came up). But this brings up an obvious question: what makes Aquaman suck?
“@wolfshine: Doesnt consider aquaman a real super hero because he really doesnt do anything… Seriously, he talks to fish wtf.”
Well, there’s the problem. Sure, communicating with underwater creatures (arguably to some of the smartest, and definitely the largest and deadliest life forms on the planet) is one of his powers. However, it’s probably his weakest and least important ability. Let’s count down the list of just why Aquaman deserves to be a power player in the DC Universe, among fellow heavyweights in the Justice League of America as a founding member.
5. Character
I love Aquaman’s character. The guy’s an arrogant, cocky, confident bastard. But you know what? He gets to be, because if you come down into his realm, he’ll definitely mess you up. He’s not the only character in comicdom that’s lovably lordly — think Dr. Doom or Power Girl. It’s not for everybody, but if you’re into the kind of hero you love to hate, Aquaman should be right up your alley. Just don’t listen to the ignorant misers who think his threats are nothing but hot air.
4. Hook / Swordplay
Alright, there’s two versions of Aquaman, and both are pretty pimp, so take your pick. On the one hand, you can have your Aquaman come battle-tested with a hook for a hand. I don’t think I need to explain why hooks are cool or why it’s appropriate for Aquaman to have one (ARGH!). On the other hand, you can have your Aquaman as a master swordsman, capable of fighting at a level that should be expected of a King. His skills match those of Ra’s al Ghul — you know, the guy who consistently beats Batman in hand-to-hand and armed combat. Put some magic runes on that blade, and you could hold your own against the otherwise impervious heroes of the DCU.
Merwenches
3. Lord of Atlantis
It’s important for a good high-level hero to have a strong support structure. Batman has his corporate empire behind him, Superman and the Martian Manhunter have the history and knowledge of their entire culture as support, and Wonder Woman has a whole race of goddess-like Amazon women on Themyscira. Aquaman, on the other hand, is the one true ruler of the most technologically advanced and most powerful nation on the planet. You do know that the shield protecting Atlantis has shrugged off nuclear attacks, right? At this point you may be asking, “so then why does he always come up to the surface and act all pissy about oceanic pollution?” The true mark of a good king is compassion for all his subjects, including those outside his capital city. Unfortunately, in Aquaman’s case, this includes the ENTIRE OCEAN. Yeah, imagine if our president legitimately felt enough compassion for every single human being in every piss-poor country to stand up for them and be able to back it up. The man has the love of his people (see “merwenches” above).
2. Superstrength
I know, it’s a power that just about every superhero has, yet everybody seems to forget Aquaman’s got. You have to be a pretty strong dude to punch out a blue whale in one hit. In tests of strength, our hero has been known to be Wonder Woman’s equal. Sure, this puts him perhaps below Superman and such, but also certainly above, say, all of the Teen Titans combined.
1. Hydrokinesis
This power is absolutely devastating and always poorly written in comics and terribly used in television and film. The dude doesn’t just call up tsunamis or throw balls of water so tightly packed that they’ve got the density of steel girders or adamantium, he does it at will, like it’s nothing at all. That’s a good level of control. He can do that with all kinds of water, anywhere. And you think Magneto and Dr. Polaris are powerful? Imagine the same thing, but with water. WATER. Forget having to inject a dude with extra iron to be able to pull blood cells out of him — just pull the blood itself right out. Water’s in everything; it’s everywhere. I’ll give you a moment to think of a realistic situation where hydrokinesis wouldn’t be useful. Yeah, I couldn’t come up with anything, either.
If nothing else, this one power puts Aquaman in the big leagues. Find me a hero or villain that can survive with all the water pulled out of their body. That tiny handful is the only group that can really pose a threat to our fair King. And for that group, Aquaman can reply upon his swordfighting abilities, his superstrength, or his superior tech. Or, he can just fucking drown them.
Kneel, if ya know what's right for ya.
agreed completely